The last few weeks have been tough.  My family was visiting and that is always a challenge for me.  Everyone in my family drinks, most of them much more than I ever did.  When I talk about my decision to quit drinking, they look at me like I’m just being silly, strange or somehow elitist (like exercising, eating healthy food or refusing to be around cigarette smoke.)  On another one of my odd journeys that will take me further away from my roots.  Creating another wedge in our relationships.

Anyway, I realize that is contributing to some of my recent bad moods.  We were hanging out one afternoon and I was being open about how it felt to quit drinking and how I had a hard time stopping after a few glasses of wine.  My sister-in-law said, “Oh that is hard for everyone, you just have to be strong and decide not to have another one, like I do” as she poured herself a glass of wine.  Then my stepdad said “All this talk about drinking is making me thirsty!” and he cracked open a beer.

The next day, I apologized for being more quiet than usual and always leaving early (my family always hangs out, drinks and talks late into the evening.) I explained that it hard to be not drinking around a drinking crowd.  My mom said “You probably felt bad in the morning because you were drinking wine.  I always drink beer and I feel fine.”  Which sounded to me like she was saying “This whole not drinking thing is silly, Kim. Just drink beer, like me!”

So, being around all of this has made me crabby about my decision to quit drinking.  I’m not questioning it, I’m just not really feeling supported or understood by my family.  Oh well, now that visit is over and I can move on.


3 thoughts on “Family

  1. Its a funny thing – being around friends and family who drink a lot. ALL my friends and family drink. I am (now) the only one who doesn’t drink. My buffer zone is a bit further – I’ve shifted continents and now have an entire sea btw us – but when I get together, particularly with my in-laws, I get lots of the same comments you get and “well, thats good, all the more for us to drink” which really makes me feel like the odd one out. There’s a much longer and entirely different response as to whether you do an intervention on your brother – but this post reminded me why I like AA (and the sober community online). I pick and choose the bits of AA I like, but I really like knowing and interacting with people who are interesting and normal and don’t drink. It makes me feel normal and OK. It can be tough being the odd one out even when I know I am immensely happier and wouldn’t want to start drinking again. Interesting post. Thanks for sharing.


    • Yes! Being the odd one out is uncomfortable! But to be fair, they probably don’t really like me shining a light on their habits either.

      I have resisted AA until now. Many, many things about the program make me very uncomfortable. But maybe it is time to check it out, at least to meet some like minded people. I keep getting that advice.

      I deleted the information about my brother because I felt like that was a little too much to share.


      • Thank you so much for posting. I hope just sharing it has reminded you, you are strong you endured a lot in that visit and persevered! I have so many family dynamics also and love my buffers….one sister in Florida, one in upstate NY, I’m exactly 10 hours from both. When we are together boy can the sh.t fly! Keep it up and know you are doing what’s right for you, not what will appease them. You can still love them but don’t have to get sucked in to the drama. I pray a good deal every time i am going to be with my family. If the God part of AA is one of the parts keeping you away, please don’t be afraid. They have their own version of what you need to do, but God is not AA, he loves us unconditionally and accepts us as is, flaws and all and when we don’t have anyone else to talk to or lean on he is always there…lean on Him. People may disappoint, but God never will. Door is always open and he’s never too busy. Not preaching, just sharing how I get through.

        Liked by 1 person

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